Tag: performance anxiety

It was seven years ago. I still remember exactly what I was wearing.

The room had 40 people. I was presenting quarterly results to the leadership team. Slide 12 — a chart I’d built myself — had an error. The CFO spotted it immediately. “These numbers don’t add up,” he said. Not quietly. Not kindly.

For the next three minutes, I stood there while he picked apart my work in front of everyone. My face burned. My voice disappeared. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me whole.

That presentation ended my confidence for years. Every time I stood up to speak after that, I wasn’t in the current room — I was back in that room, waiting for someone to find the error, waiting for the humiliation to start again.

If you’ve had a presentation experience that still affects how you feel about speaking — even years later — you’re not being dramatic. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do. It’s trying to protect you from a threat it still believes is real.

I’m writing about this now because presentation anxiety is increasingly recognised as a genuine psychological response, not a character flaw. Recent understanding of how trauma affects the nervous system explains why “just get over it” doesn’t work — and what actually does.

As a certified hypnotherapist who now works with executives on presentation anxiety, I’ve heard hundreds of these stories. The details differ — a forgotten line, a hostile question, a technology failure, a panic attack — but the pattern is remarkably consistent.

Something happened. It felt terrible. And now, years later, it still controls how you feel about presenting.

The good news: this isn’t permanent. Your nervous system learned this fear response, and it can unlearn it. But first, you need to understand what’s actually happening.

Signs You’re Carrying Presentation Trauma

Presentation trauma doesn’t always announce itself obviously. Sometimes it shows up as “I just don’t like presenting” or “I’m not a natural speaker.” But there are specific signs that suggest you’re carrying something from the past:

1. Your Body Reacts Before Your Mind Does

You get an email about an upcoming presentation. Before you’ve even processed what it says, your heart rate increases. Your stomach tightens. Your palms get clammy.

This instant physical response — before conscious thought — is a hallmark of trauma. Your nervous system has flagged “presentation” as a threat and is activating your fight-or-flight response automatically.

2. The Fear Seems Disproportionate

You’re presenting to three friendly colleagues about a topic you know well. Objectively, the stakes are low. But your body is reacting like you’re about to face a firing squad.

When the fear response doesn’t match the actual situation, it’s often because your nervous system is responding to a past threat, not the current one.

3. You Have Intrusive Memories

When you think about presenting, your mind automatically goes to that time it went wrong. You can see it clearly — the faces, the room, the moment everything fell apart. These memories arrive unbidden and feel uncomfortably vivid.

4. You Avoid at All Costs

You’ve turned down opportunities, delegated important moments to others, or restructured your career to minimise presenting. The avoidance has become a pattern that shapes your professional life.

5. Anticipatory Anxiety Starts Days (or Weeks) Early

A presentation is scheduled for next Thursday. By Sunday, you’re already feeling anxious. By Wednesday night, you can’t sleep. The dread builds exponentially as the date approaches.

6. You Experience Shame, Not Just Fear

There’s a difference between “I’m afraid of presenting” and “I’m ashamed of how I present.” Trauma often carries shame — a feeling that you are fundamentally flawed, not just that the situation is scary.

Why Your Nervous System Won’t “Just Let It Go”

If you’ve ever been told to “just relax” or “it’s not a big deal,” you know how unhelpful that advice is. Here’s why your nervous system doesn’t respond to logic:

The Amygdala Doesn’t Have a Calendar

Your amygdala — the brain’s threat-detection centre — processes experiences without timestamps. A humiliating presentation from 2018 feels just as threatening as one happening right now, because to your amygdala, there’s no difference between “this happened” and “this is happening.”

Emotional Memories Are Stored Differently

Traumatic experiences aren’t filed away like regular memories. They’re stored in a fragmented, sensory way — which is why a particular room layout, a certain type of projector, or even a specific smell can trigger the whole response pattern.

Your Body Keeps the Score

The fear isn’t just in your mind — it’s encoded in your body. Your posture, your breathing pattern, your muscle tension all hold the memory. This is why cognitive approaches (“think positive thoughts”) often fail. The body remembers what the mind tries to forget.

Avoidance Reinforces the Fear

Every time you avoid presenting, your nervous system gets confirmation: “See? That was dangerous. Good thing we escaped.” The avoidance provides temporary relief but strengthens the fear response long-term.

The Trauma Response Cycle

Understanding the cycle helps you interrupt it:

Stage 1: Trigger
Something reminds your nervous system of the original threat — a calendar invite, a request to present, even someone mentioning “presentation” in conversation.

Stage 2: Activation
Your fight-or-flight system activates. Heart rate increases, stress hormones release, blood flows away from your prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) toward your survival systems.

Stage 3: Hijack
Your rational mind goes offline. You can’t think clearly, can’t access your preparation, can’t remember that you’re actually safe. The past has hijacked the present.

Stage 4: Behaviour
You either fight (get defensive, speak too fast, overcompensate), flight (avoid, delegate, call in sick), or freeze (mind goes blank, voice disappears, body locks up).

Stage 5: Aftermath
Regardless of how the presentation actually went, you feel depleted, ashamed, and more convinced than ever that presenting is dangerous. The cycle reinforces itself.

How to Release the Pattern

Recovery from presentation trauma isn’t about forcing yourself to present more (exposure therapy without proper support often makes things worse). It’s about working with your nervous system to create new associations.

Step 1: Acknowledge What Happened

Stop minimising. “It wasn’t that bad” or “I should be over it by now” keeps you stuck. Something happened that affected you. That’s real. Your response makes sense given what you experienced.

I spent years pretending my CFO moment didn’t bother me. Recovery only started when I admitted: that was humiliating, it hurt, and it changed how I felt about presenting.

Step 2: Separate Past from Present

When you notice the fear response activating, practice naming it: “This is my nervous system responding to 2018, not to today.” You’re not trying to make the feeling go away — you’re creating space between the trigger and your response.

Step 3: Work With Your Body

Because the trauma is stored in your body, body-based techniques are often more effective than cognitive ones:

• Slow exhales: Longer exhales than inhales can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system
• Grounding: Feel your feet on the floor, your weight in the chair — anchor yourself in the present moment
• Movement: Shake out your hands, roll your shoulders — discharge the physical activation
• Posture reset: Stand tall, open your chest — your body’s position affects your emotional state

Step 4: Create New Experiences

Your nervous system needs evidence that presenting can be safe. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself into high-stakes situations. It means starting small:

• Speaking up in a meeting with one comment
• Presenting to one trusted colleague
• Recording yourself and watching without judgment
• Gradually increasing the challenge as your nervous system adapts

Step 5: Process the Original Experience

Sometimes the old memory needs direct attention. Techniques like guided visualisation, timeline therapy, or working with a therapist can help you process what happened so it no longer controls your present.

This is where hypnotherapy-based approaches can be particularly effective — they work directly with the subconscious patterns that keep the trauma response active.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Bad Experience

Once you’ve started releasing the trauma pattern, you can begin rebuilding genuine confidence:

Reframe the Original Story

The story you tell yourself about what happened matters. “I failed and everyone saw” is different from “I had a difficult experience and I survived it.”

My CFO story? I eventually reframed it: “I made an error, someone called it out publicly, and I handled a difficult moment without falling apart completely. I went back to work the next day. I kept presenting. I survived.”

Collect Counter-Evidence

Your brain has been selectively remembering the bad experience. Start noticing the neutral and positive ones. After each presentation — even a small one — note what went okay. Build a file of evidence that presenting doesn’t always mean disaster.

Prepare Differently

Trauma often creates over-preparation (spending 20 hours on a 10-minute presentation) or under-preparation (avoiding thinking about it until the last minute). Neither works.

Effective preparation for trauma recovery means: know your content well enough to feel secure, but accept that perfection isn’t the goal. Your safety doesn’t depend on getting everything right.

Build Physical Anchors

Create associations between specific physical actions and calm states. When you’re relaxed, practice a subtle gesture (touching your thumb to your finger, for example). Over time, this gesture can help trigger the calm state — giving you a tool you can use in the moment.

This anchoring technique is part of what makes nervous system-based approaches so effective for presentation anxiety.

What Recovery Actually Looks Like

Recovery from presentation trauma isn’t linear, and it doesn’t mean you’ll never feel nervous again. Here’s what realistic progress looks like:

Week 1-2: You start noticing the pattern — recognising when your nervous system is responding to the past rather than the present.

Week 3-4: The anticipatory anxiety begins to shorten. Instead of dreading a presentation for two weeks, you might dread it for a few days.

Month 2-3: You have a presentation that goes “okay” and notice it. The negative bias starts shifting.

Month 3-6: The physical symptoms become less intense. Your heart still races, but it doesn’t feel life-threatening. You can think while nervous.

Ongoing: Presenting becomes uncomfortable rather than terrifying. You can do it without it ruining your week. Eventually, some presentations feel almost… fine.

This timeline varies. Some people see significant shifts in weeks; others take longer. The key is that progress is possible — your nervous system can learn new patterns.

📬 PS: Weekly techniques for managing presentation anxiety and building genuine confidence. Subscribe to The Winning Edge — practical strategies from a hypnotherapist who’s been there.

That presentation from years ago — the one you still think about — doesn’t have to control your future.

Your nervous system is doing what it was designed to do: protect you from perceived threats. But the threat isn’t real anymore. The room is different. The audience is different. You are different.

Recovery is possible. Your nervous system learned to fear presenting, and it can learn something new.

It starts with acknowledging what happened, understanding why your body responds the way it does, and working with your nervous system rather than against it.

The past doesn’t have to own your present. You can let it go.

Also available: Executive Slide System (£39) — confident-presenter templates that reduce preparation stress.